My Introduction to Porn

"Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;   

and give me life in your ways." - Psalm 119:37

Veronica of Broccoli of Dating is so raw and real! I love how she is vulnerable and transparent in her writings and this one is no different. Beyond the blunt title which would abruptly stop anyone mid-scroll, porn is rarely a topic conversed about in the church. Especially among Christian women, porn and masturbation are too taboo to touch. But transparency is one of the best reflections of the Gospel. Read more about Veronica's story about porn addiction here.

As I read Veronica’s story, I began to recall my own introduction to porn. It was a brisk Spring morning waiting on the school bus. One of the few times I was on time and didn’t have to race the bus to the stop. I was on the corner of my neighborhood waiting with the rest of the neighborhood kids for almost an hour, but the bus was a no-show. So what would any other middle schooler plan to do? Skip school! One of the older girls suggested we all hang out at her house, but we had to all stick together. No one could go home so our parents wouldn't find out about our missing bus and call the school to have us picked up. As a quiet young 6th grader who never went against the grain, I obliged. It was a group of almost 10 of us and I didn't want to be the one who sabotaged the plan. We sat in her living room and she asked if anyone had ever watched porn. With the majority of everyone replying no, she excitedly turned the channel to a scribbly, z-lined picture with very audible sound. Maybe 10 minutes of trying to squint through the lines passed before we heard a knock on the door. There was a mole amongst the group and someone's parent found out about our hideout and the bus was arriving to pick us up.

But the seed was planted. I began to search porn on my own. I was intrigued. I spent many late nights secretly on the computer until it inevitably crashed. Not sure what excuse I gave, but I tried to explain my way out of how the graphic photos were there. As I stopped watching porn, masturbation started. I didn’t know it was masturbation then, but I knew I wanted to emulate what I saw.

While porn is an often topic mostly discussed for and by men, women are just as influenced. Porn addiction is real and can be very debilitating. Its impact can be an open door to serial promiscuity or lie dormant waiting for the right insecurity to trigger it. For me, an embarrassing walk-in from my mom inhibited my curiosity, at least until college. It's time to have very real and transparent conversations about porn. How to avoid it, overcome it and know you do not battle with it alone.

For additional resources and help, visit CovenantEyes.com