My Love Language with God
This past Valentine's Day has to be the most woke and aware I've ever been of my singleness (and I've been single since 2013). I woke up to emotionally exercise and mentally prepare for the day. But as much I fought to not be overwhelmed, I still felt pretty heavy. Maybe because I recently had to fall back from a guy I liked because our relationship (or the lack thereof) glittered with all the signs of a forming "situ-ain't-ship". Maybe because I actually felt some pressure from friends asking what was wrong and why I wasn't talking to any of the guys from a group picture I recently posted to social. You know, because dating is like a game of Poke'mon and I can go up to any guy and just yell "Pikachu! I choose you!" then Boom! I got a Bae-a-chu. Maybe it's realizing I'm the only friend across 3 groups of friends who is single. Maybe because I'm 30. Ever since turning 30 a week ago, I've had a heightened sensitivity and awareness to everything. Regardless of the reason, I wasn't feeling this mental space and it needed to shift.
Scrolling through Facebook, I came across this relationship video of Jerry Flowers of Redefined TV. Dreading to hear the cliche messages for singles, I watched hoping to get something new. And to my surprise, it really did bless me.
Two points really stood out. 1. We learn about the definition of love during our singleness and dating phase. But we really don’t get to practice the attributes of true love until after the marriage. Typically, that's when as a couple your relationship is challenged, tested, and you have to soberly choose to love through the better and worse, the patience and long suffering as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13. So “being in love” with someone prior to marriage could best be understood as “do I have the capacity to truly choose to love this person”.
2. What is courtship? There's always some hesitation in explaining courtship, especially in a post modern society; but he breaks it down so thoroughly. Picture just like a courtroom, each person presenting our case, baggage, closets and past to one another and God. Then allowing God to make a final verdict of if this relationship is ok to pursue. Once God gives his verdict of approval (or dismissal), we proceed to seek pre-marital counseling, culminating to marriage AND THEN we get to put to practice the vows we made down the aisle - the real, covenant, unconditional agape-type love. So the flow should be Love God first, seek and measure your attraction against biblical principles, then courtship.
So let's take it back to the basics. The first step, love God first. Am I loving God first? If so, how? Do I love him, like I say I do? Do I believe God’s word like I say I do? What is my way of showing God I love him? We hear it all the time, not really anything new. But this time, I wondered how do I personally show God my love? Not what so and so does, or what we learn in Christian Education 101; but what is Eugenia's way? Reflecting on the 5 Love Languages, I thought about how I can use my own love language in expression to God, especially in areas I felt wasn't being fulfilled.
Practicing my Love Language with God
Below is based on the actual 5 Love Languages and how I thought I could best intentionally love on God, me and others.
Words of Affirmation
Affirming who God says I am, acknowledging who God is, affirming others
Physical Touch
Choosing to embrace people through hugs instead of shaking hands
Committing to a self-care and wellness routine like massages
Quality Time
Spending time with God (prayer, worship, journaling)
Developing The Christian Perspective
Taking care of my body (what I eat, drink, gym)
Receiving Gifts
Offerings outside of tithes
Small tokens of appreciation and gifts for others
Acts of Service
How can I serve others effectively and well
Fasting wholeheartedly
I believe loving God in a way that’s personal to me and in a way that I want to receive and be loved will fill the void I feel is lacking. So for the next 6 weeks, falling right in line with Lent season, I am committed to practicing my own love language towards God as an expression of my adoration of him.